Q- What is The Intergalactic Nemesis?
A- It’s watching a great idea get ruined by a terrible comic.
When I was offered a ticket to see The Intergalactic Nemesis, a live action, radio play, graphic novel spectacle, I was initially excited. “What a great idea; actors reading in character, fifty by fifty comic frames, a sound effects guy and piano accompaniment…how has no one done this before?” I thought. When I saw The Intergalactic Nemesis, I was disappointed: “That really should have been better, especially for a first of its kind multimedia event. That story was lackluster as fuck.” As I attempt to write this review, I’m down right pissed.
Sitting through this affair was like watching M. Night Shyamalan’s whole career in two hours. I went from being as giddy as a school child, to being bored and ready to call it quits early, to frothing with rage. The Intergalactic Nemesis follows spunky girl reporter, Molly Sloan, her eternally cock teased boy assistant, Timmy Mendez, and the guy from terminator, who was sent back in time by the robots. The trio spend the bloated run time of this performance scurrying through what felt like two completely different stories, as they struggled to save the earth by committing mass genocide on a villainous alien race that was given absolutely no motivation for their dickery, except looking like slimy alligators. The first half was, contextually, fairly decent. It had a lot of hokey set pieces, like a haunted mansion. It at least had something resembling a solid tone. Then, the intermission came and everything that followed went right off the rails. First thing after intermission they pulled a “wait nevermind” on the cliffhanger they had just set up. Then, there as an alien robot, and they are fighting the slime monsters and ohh my god this just sucks now. I really am not going to waste my time attempting summarize what Jason Neulander just tried to pass off as a story here. The Galactic Nemesis is terrible. It’s a spliced together mess of a plot, and the only reason it’s making any headway is because of the cool idea they are using as a cheap gimmick. And that is where the anger really starts.
If sitting through that steamer of a story wasn’t bad enough, what really got me down into the pits of internet complaining was the general wastefulness of this production. I’m going to apologize to all the offended Galactic Nemesis fans, because I don’t know anything about this production’s history, and I may be completely off base. Here is what I think brought about this spectacular waste of time: Jason Neulander got an idea to do a live action comic book thing, but he didn’t want to write a whole new piece, because that would be too much work. So, he reworked the whole Intergalactic Nemesis thing, and found some artist to pen some cells, and BAM, a great idea is ruined by a lazy bastard. This is my biggest gripe with The Intergalactic Nemesis. In a few years, if some talented story-teller comes along and writes a graphic novel that is leaps and bounds beyond The Intergalactic Nemesis (a feat your average grade schooler could accomplish), and then wants to do the live action thing, their work will forever be in the shadow of this mess. The producers here took a great idea and forgot that it would need a great story to go with it. They wasted the freshness of this concept on a lousy script. So, go see The Intergalactic Nemesis when it comes to New England (Hartford CT, Concord NH), but I guarantee you will leave the theater feeling like you just got tricked into giving up your virginity in some cheap motel room.